The picture below is cute and innocent, but it’s a reminder that someday my baby (babies!) will be old enough to drive. Scary thought. Normally, I’m not of the “I don’t want him to grow up!” mentality. I love watching Patrick learn new things and discover the world around him. My little baby is about to become a big brother and that (mostly) delights me. He’s still my little baby, always will be. But someday, sooner than I would like, I’m going to have to send him out in the world and trust he will be safe-- and trust that I have taught him to do the right thing and look out for himself. It’s not something I’m looking forward to.
One of the girls at my regular Starbucks was in a car accident over the weekend. She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt when the car hit a guardrail. She’s okay, relatively speaking. Her poor face is a mishmash of cuts and abrasions and stitches and bruises and swelling, but she’s alive and will likely have little more than a faint scar or two to remind her of the experience. But oh, I couldn’t help but look at her pretty face and think how much worse it could have been. She could’ve lost an eye, or broken delicate bones in her face. Or died.
I was in a similar car accident when I was 19. It was before there was even a seatbelt law (Florida was one of the last holdouts) and I had a Camaro. Those two facts were a disaster waiting to happen. But for whatever reason, on the fateful day my tires spun out on wet road and my car crashed into a wall, I was wearing my seatbelt. I still managed to crack the windshield with my head, but I walked away from the accident with nothing more than a goose egg on my forehead and a nasty bruise from the seatbelt. I was lucky. Just like the girl at Starbucks. But I was 19 then and thought I was invincible (or didn’t much care that I wasn’t). I’m older now and know my own mortality-- and that of those I love.
Someday, I will hand Patrick (and his brother) the keys to a car and watch the slow grin spread over his face at the realization of his freedom. I will remind him to be careful, to obey the speed limit, to remember everything he’s been taught-- and to wear his seatbelt no matter what. And I will hope he listens. I will hope he is smarter than I was at 19, smarter than the sweet 21 girl at Starbucks, smarter than every other teenager who ever drove a car. It’s a naive hope, I know, but it’s the only thing I can do. Hope.
Wear your seatbelt. Always. And remind your friends and your kids and your kids’ friends to do the same.
We said goodbye to Henry this morning. There is absolutely nothing I can write that would do justice to what he meant to us without sending me into tears (oops, there I go again). We loved this dog-- so much so that we gave Patrick a second middle name to honor him-- and he will be missed forever.
HENRY
March 4, 1996 ~ June 30, 2011
Teenage girls in short-shorts, the last trimester of my pregnancy and real glasses for iced drinks at Starbucks. Ahhh… Happy Summer Solstice!
So, yeah, that was a little ambitious of me yesterday. But today’s a new day and there are still things on yesterday’s list to complete:
**UPDATED at 11:20 PM**
1. Finish writing my story for Best Erotic Romance 2012.
2. Finish writing my introduction for BER. (DONE TODAY!)
3. Finish editing BER.
4. Print BER, do final read-through/proofread, make corrections as necessary. (DONE TODAY!)
5. Finish writing story for Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Curvy Girls anthology. (Half-finished.)
6. Stop by store on the way home and pick up bananas (for raccoons) and big bottle of Tums (for me).
7. Take care of baby after 4 PM. Play, feed, cuddle, bedtime (around 7 PM).
8. Eat at least a couple of times. Take Tums after every meal, no matter how bland.
9. Email final draft of BER to publisher. (DONE TODAY!)
10. Print final copy of BER and package to mail tomorrow.
11. Proofread Curvy Girls story and submit to RKB.
12. Draft blog post for Oh Get a Grip! on the topic of Writing Pressure. (Ha!) (If time.) (WRITTEN AND POSTED TONIGHT!)
13. Write and post link for next week’s Naked Reader Book Club discussion. (If time.)
14. Catch up on work-related emails. (If time.)
15. Finish paying bills from yesterday. (If time.)
16. Start drafting discussion for next week’s talk at Fountain Bookstore. (If time.)
17. Put away dishes in dishwasher and on counter.
18. Shower, eat again, make to do list for tomorrow, fall into bed.
Plus, for today:
1. Drop off my car at the mechanic. (DONE!)
2. Answer new work-related emails. (DONE!)
3. Make Richmond reservations with Sheri.
1. Finish writing my story for Best Erotic Romance 2012.
2. Finish writing my introduction for BER.
3. Finish editing BER.
4. Print BER, do final read-through/proofread, make corrections as necessary.
5. Finish editing story for Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Curvy Girls anthology.
6. Stop by store on the way home and pick up bananas (for raccoons) and big bottle of Tums (for me).
7. Take care of baby after 4 PM. Play, feed, cuddle, bedtime (around 7 PM).
8. Eat at least a couple of times. Take Tums after every meal, no matter how bland.
9. Email final draft of BER to publisher.
10. Print final copy of BER and package to mail tomorrow.
11. Proofread Curvy Girls story and submit to RKB.
12. Draft blog post for Oh Get a Grip! on the topic of Writing Pressure. (Ha!) (If time.)
13. Write and post link for next week’s Naked Reader Book Club discussion. (If time.)
14. Catch up on work-related emails. (If time.)
15. Finish paying bills from yesterday. (If time.)
16. Start drafting discussion for next week’s talk at Fountain Bookstore. (If time.)
17. Put away dishes in dishwasher and on counter.
18. Shower, eat again, make to do list for tomorrow, fall into bed.
Twelve hours (or so) and counting… here I go…
What’s it all about?
Life. Love. Writing. Editing. Sex. Books. Romance. Movies. Friendship. Photography. Teaching. Coffee. (Lots of coffee.) Travel. Feminism. Academia. Insomnia. Memories. Experiences. Rants. Raves. Reviews. Babies. Pregnancy. Motherhood. Insanity. Musings of an insomniac writer. Want to know more?
