This week’s theme at Oh Get a Grip! is forgiveness:
Where does forgiveness fit into the above quote? Does it fit at all? Can you have bad things happen to you, be strengthened by them and yet never forgive those who inflicted the bad things upon you? That would seem to be contrary to religious teachings-- or at least Christian teachings. In order to be good and healthy and full of sunshine, you have to forgive, right? Otherwise, your soul is just a black, rotting smudge in the universe and you’re just a miserable, hateful person. Or something like that.
Personally, I call bullshit.
That wasn’t at all how I expected my piece to go, but I think once I started contemplating the nature of forgiveness I realized my true feelings on the subject are in contradiction to what I’ve been told/taught most of my life. There goes my Good Person award, I guess. Read the rest here (and feel free to leave a comment whether you agree or disagree): Letting Go Without Forgiving
My post this week at Oh Get A Grip! is about works in progress, the apocalypse and NaNoWriMo. Or something like that…
Confession: I chose this week’s theme “Work in Progress” because I’m lazy. I thought it would be easy enough to open up one of my files, copy and paste some text, write, “This is what I’m working on” and my OGGbligation for the week would be met. I’m a slacker. I suck.
Confession: I am contemplating participating in National Novel Writing Month this year. Insane, I know. I don’t even have the time to write my weekly OGG posts and I’m thinking about writing a novel in a month.
What does the apocalypse have to do with my slackerdom and NaNoWriMo? Here’s the rest, if you want to find out: The Apocalypse is Nigh, Or: Confessions of a Slacker.
I accomplished a lot writing/editing work today. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to say that. I have been frustrated with my lack of work time lately--and that admission comes with a certain amount of guilt. The more I work, the less time I spend with my children. Don’t get me wrong, I love my babies and I love spending time with them (though I will love it more when Lucas is sleeping as well as his brother). But I also love my work. Writing sustains me, the stuff that goes along with writing--editing, admin, promo--are part of the job. And for the past few months, I simply haven’t had enough time for my work.
I was mulling over that idea and trying to figure out what it would take for me to feel like I’ve had “enough time” to work. Granted, I’m currently cramming too much work into too few hours, so right now I just need more time. But in general I can’t put a number on the hours I need to do what I need to do to feel fulfilled in my job. Some weeks, the work load is lighter (or the creative process is slower) and I might be content with 25 hours. Other weeks, 40 hours wouldn’t be enough to do the writing I want to do and complete all of the other necessary (and/or contracted) tasks. So what, exactly, is enough?
And here’s the conclusion I’ve come to: enough time to work is when the choice to pack up my laptop and go home is determined by me and not by the clock and other people’s schedules. I’m only on the fringes of being a Type A, so I’m not talking a work day that begins when Starbucks opens and ends when they close. I love my work, but I love the rest of my life, too! It feels like most days I’ve only just found my rhythm when it’s time to go home and take on baby duty. Of course, part of that has to do with having a baby six weeks ago and still trying to find a new rhythm. Part of it is also having a newborn who isn’t yet sleeping through the night. With a toddler who is an excellent sleeper, I was able to make up lost daytime work hours at night after he went to bed by 7 PM. I can’t do that right now and I have lost a huge chunk of work time.
In thinking back to when I had more time to work, “enough time” was between 5 and 8 hours a day, most days. That hardly qualifies me as a workaholic. But since Lucas was born I haven’t even been hitting the minimum I need to do the work that has to be done. I have been averaging 2 to 3 hours a day, maybe five days a week if I’m lucky. That’s a huge hit to my work schedule. And it leads to a kind of frustration that makes me snarl when I get home when I should be happy to be there.
And yes, yes, yes… I know I just had a baby, I know I’m entitled to take a break and enjoy some maternity leave, I know the babies won’t be this little for long, I know. I swear I know. And I’m okay with most of that. I’m okay with taking Lucas out to work with me some days even though it means I’ll only get 2 hours of work out of the 5 I have the babysitter. I’m okay with doing other things during my work time-- like go to postpartum doctor’s appointments or pay household bills or even (gasp!) get a pedicure-- because there really is no other time to do those things. I’m okay with spending most nights on the couch trying to read the lips of the characters on reruns of the Big Band Theory because I can’t hear them over Lucas’s cries. I’m okay with going out to a movie or dinner with a friend on Saturday night instead of working because I need social breaks from my solitary work-- and I need them more than ever right now. I accept it all and most of the time I am able to accept it gracefully and without resentment. But I miss my work! /whine
This isn’t about making my publisher happy or making X number of dollars. This is about my sense of self, my personal identity. Someone sent me an email yesterday and referred to me as “Mommyx2.” This was a writing-related email, not a note from a friend. It took everything in me not to respond negatively, because I know it was meant as a happy thing. I did just have a baby, after all, and I do have two beautiful children. But in the midst of having my second baby, I also completed my fifth anthology and signed a contract for my sixth. Is it too much to ask that my professional accomplishments hold some weight-- at least with the people in my profession?
But needing more writing time isn’t even about justifying myself to my peers. Many of the writers I know, love and admire are childfree (and often single) and I don’t begrudge them the time they have to write. I made my choices. I’m happy with my choices. I simply feel unfulfilled if I don’t spend a chunk of my daily existence doing the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do. I need that time. I crave it. Me, alone with my computer, brainstorming ideas, editing manuscripts, pitching anthologies, writing my own stories, promoting my work, blogging about my life. I need that time in order to feel fulfilled. In order to be me.
Today, I had five solid hours to work. Five glorious hours. I spent about 20 minutes of that time on Facebook and the rest of the time seriously working. (And even my status updates on Facebook were mostly work related.) It was wonderful, It was almost fulfilling. I say almost only because I would’ve liked another 30 minutes to tie up some loose ends. But other than that, it was a good work day. Now, if only every day could be like that I wouldn’t feel like something was gnawing at my insides.
But here I am at almost 10 PM and Lucas has been sleeping for about an hour and a half and I’ve managed to do some writing stuff in that time. I’m tired and my brain is all but fried, but I managed to carve some time out of my night schedule. Yay me. Now if I could just have days like today more often, that empty space inside me will be filled with writing accomplishments instead of ice cream.
It will get better, I know it will. I remember feeling like I would never find my writing rhythm again after Patrick was born-- but I did. And I will again. Until then, I’ll find the time where I can and try to be patient and enjoy my babies as much as possible. They won’t be babies for long and the stories will wait.
This is from Sylvia Day’s lovely story “Iron Hard” in Steamlust: Steampunk Erotic Romance. I decided to use Sylvia’s story to introduce the collection because this beautifully written erotic love story has all of the elements of a classic steampunk tale. This is what steampunk erotic romance is all about!
Squaring her shoulders, Annie caught the brass ring held in the jaws of a massive lion’s head doorknocker and rapped it sharply. She was initially surprised when a human butler opened the door, but that passed swiftly. The baron could afford the luxury of live servants and their wages. She, on the other hand, had created Alfred from scrap parts.
The butler took her hat, gloves, and pelisse before showing her into a shadowed study.
As he bowed and moved to turn away, she said, “I will require more light, please.”
The striking of a match preceded the flaring of illumination from one of the room’s corners. Her head turned swiftly, her breath catching as a man stepped forward. She scarcely paid any mind to the door clicking shut behind the retreating servant.“Will this do?” he asked in a low, rumbling voice. He turned up the flame in the gas lamp he carried and joined her at the desk where she’d deposited the birds.
She stared, riveted by the savage beauty of his face and the intensity with which he regarded her. His dark hair was long, hanging to his shoulders in a thick, glossy mane. A wide band of pure white strands embellished his left temple, framing a silver eye. Even as she watched, the metallic iris turned, the lens adjusting to accommodate the brighter light. A scar ran diagonally from his temple, across the eyelid, and over his upper lip, explaining how he’d lost the eye he had been born with. The blemish did nothing to mitigate his comeliness. While it altered her perception of the symmetry of his features, it was in a manner she found highly appealing, as she did the air of danger surrounding him.
The provocation she felt was far from fear.
There are just a couple of weeks left until the deadline for my military erotic romance collection Duty and Desire!
Duty and Desire: Military Erotic Romance for Women
Edited by Kristina Wright for Cleis Press
Submission Deadline: October 15
Publication: Fall 2012
Payment: $50 per story and two copies of the book, on publication
E-mail:
The only thing stronger than the call of duty is the call of desire! This anthology of military erotic romance will serve up a team of hot-blooded men (and women) from every branch of the military who serve their country and follow their hearts wherever they might be stationed. When the mission is done, the unit is recalled or the ship pulls into port, they set their sights on a new target—the pursuit of passion and love. In and out of uniform, stateside and abroad, these military warriors meet passion and danger head on. All’s fair in love and war—in and out of uniform.
Heterosexual in focus with a female audience in mind, Duty and Desire will include stories of U.S. soldiers, sailors, aviators, Marines and Special Forces (Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, etc.). However, members of the British Royal Navy, Israeli Army and all other international military personnel are welcome, as well! The usual taboos apply. While I won’t hold you to the letter of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice), I do not want to see stories with military members engaging in illegal activities.
In erotic romance, the sexual component is critical to the development of the romantic relationship. According to Romance Writers of America, a romance must include two key elements: a central love story and an emotionally-satisfying, optimistic ending. So be sure to give me a romantic story with scorching hot sex and a happily-ever-after or happy-for-now ending.
Submission Guidelines: Unpublished stories only, no simultaneous submissions. The desired story length is 2,000-4,500 words. Double-space and indent the first line of each paragraph. Do not put extra spaces between paragraphs. Include your full contact information (legal name/pseudonym, mailing address and phone number) and a bio of 50 words or less written in the third person. Please paste your story into the body of your e-mail and attach it as a Microsoft Word .doc file. I will consider up to three stories per author.
Payment will be $50 per story and 2 copies of the book upon publication. Contributors retain the rights to their stories. Please note that Cleis Press has final approval over the manuscript.
Send your submission to with Submission: Story Title in the subject line. Please direct any questions to the same address.
What’s it all about?
Life. Love. Writing. Editing. Sex. Books. Romance. Movies. Friendship. Photography. Teaching. Coffee. (Lots of coffee.) Travel. Feminism. Academia. Insomnia. Memories. Experiences. Rants. Raves. Reviews. Babies. Pregnancy. Motherhood. Insanity. Musings of an insomniac writer. Want to know more?
